Read This Is How It Always Is: A Novel By Laurie Frankel

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This Is How It Always Is: A Novel-Laurie Frankel

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New York Times BestsellerThe Reese Witherspoon x Hello Sunshine Book Club Pick“Every once in a while, I read a book that opens my eyes in a way I never expected.” —Reese Witherspoon (Reese’s Book Club x Hello Sunshine book pick)People Magazine’s Top 10 Books of 2017Amazon’s Best Books of 2017: Top 20Amazon’s Best Literature and Fiction of 2017Bustle’s 17 Books Every Woman Should Read From 2017PopSugar’s Our Favorite Books of the Year (So Far)Refinery29's Best Books of the Year So FarBookBrowse’s The 20 Best Books of 2017Pacific Northwest Book Awards FinalistThe Globe and Mail's Top 100 Books of 2017Longlisted for 2019 International DUBLIN Literary Award“It made me laugh, it made me cry, it made me think.” —Liane Moriarty, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Big Little LiesThis is how a family keeps a secret…and how that secret ends up keeping them.This is how a family lives happily ever after…until happily ever after becomes complicated.This is how children change…and then change the world.This is Claude. He’s five years old, the youngest of five brothers, and loves peanut butter sandwiches. He also loves wearing a dress, and dreams of being a princess.When he grows up, Claude says, he wants to be a girl.Rosie and Penn want Claude to be whoever Claude wants to be. They’re just not sure they’re ready to share that with the world. Soon the entire family is keeping Claude’s secret. Until one day it explodes. Laurie Frankel's This Is How It Always Is is a novel about revelations, transformations, fairy tales, and family. And it’s about the ways this is how it always is: Change is always hard and miraculous and hard again, parenting is always a leap into the unknown with crossed fingers and full hearts, children grow but not always according to plan. And families with secrets don’t get to keep them forever.

Book This Is How It Always Is: A Novel Review :



Attempts to take on an important issue, but misses the boat on some important aspectsI give Laurie Frankel credit for trying to write about transgender children, a new topic for many people. I appreciate her ability to describe the reality of family-life, and I was impressed by the description of Claude blossoming once allowed to be Poppy, a transformation I have seen many times. As a pediatrician, though, there are some things that I want to clarify for families who may have transgender children in the family, and be looking for guidance.1) Gender dysphoria: Poppy is very happy and feels most whole as a female, and yet does not have any negative thoughts about her male body parts. In the book, this is attributed to the family being so accepting, but children with gender dysphoria will have negative feelings about their genitalia. This is not because of something their family did, but because they don't feel that it fits who they are on the inside. These negative feelings are incredibly common, but also do need to be addressed head-on with therapy.2) Ask for help: The family doesn't ask for help, which, for a mother who is a doctor, and a father doing tons of research, while living in a city with plenty of resources, is an enigma to me. The parents talk to a social worker in Wisconsin via Skype, but Poppy's pediatrician is never involved and Poppy and her siblings never talk to a counselor or seek out a support group. I get that the story works best to talk about the dangers of secrets, but I don't feel like the point is ever made that none of them need to feel alone, there are many other people dealing with the same feelings and the same issues and resources to be tapped into. The way to avoid suicide, depression, and anxiety in transgender children has been very clearly shown to be an accepting environment, and that doesn't just mean at home. Look up the American Academy of Pediatrics guide to supporting transgender children for more details.
This book is powerful, heartbreaking, beautiful, timely, and critically important. I am so grateful it was recommended to me. I'm not going to recap the story; that's what dust jackets and publisher's descriptions are for ... or reading the actual book is an option. I cannot understand why so many reviews on here are merely book reports intent on summarizing the entire novel (for what reason I cannot imagine). Anyway, what I will tell you is that for the first time in my life, I wept openly on the pages of a book...over and over again. My heart hurt and it rejoiced. It felt trapped and it soared...along with Rosie and Penn and their brood of spunky kids. These are people I want in my life...overflowing with patience, kindness, and unconditional love. The author's note mentions the book may be controversial; I couldn't even begin to care. I choose to embrace the message, love the story and all the love it shares, and be a part of the solution, rather than the problem. There needn't be any controversy in doing what's best for your child. This is easily one of my top five most impactful books, and it's hard to imagine that anything will take its place. As a bonus, this author is extremely talented. The writing is quick, meaningful, sharp and so touching. Very well done.

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